[While proofreading this week’s Crossroads to Somewhere, an old nemesis struck with a vengeance: Villain Leg Cramp! He was painful – and long-lasting. Here it is two days later and still sore and a threat to return without warning. An unpleasant surprise since there hadn’t been an attack in a very long time. All of which means nothing more than I’ve decided to scrap the original column and replace it with this self-suffering substitute.]

At the height of my earlier cramping woes, I sought the advice of readers for help. Whammo! Two dozen written notes suggesting remedies arrived! The number was impressive, but more so because they all arrived via slow-mail postal service. In those days CR2S had not yet joined the flush toilet era and did not have a computer, so there was no email contact with the public.

Many pointed to the curative value of potassium (i.e. bananas), while others suggested (with illustrations) a variety of leg exercises. The strangest of all directed me to wrap a bar of soap around the afflicted area before going to bed; but it had to be a brand that started with the letter “D.”

In a display of appreciation and willingness to try anything, all of the suggestions were given a test. The leg cramps disappeared. But conducted without scientific control, figuring out which one was the ultimate success factor was impossible to pinpoint. [In case you’re wondering, yes, I did sleep with a bar of Dove wrapped around my left calf. And it could have been the one that was the most effective.]

So why this painful retro? Well folks, once conquered, why not again? I currently have two persistent physical, nay, physiological problems that professionals can’t seem to solve. What’s to lose by once again asking for reader help? Maybe one of you has the answer to:

(1) Neck Perspiration: After nightly shower (not a bath person), time is spent reading, watching TV, doing crossword/sudoku puzzles. Neck begins to perspire, mostly under the chin area. No, strike that, it’s more dampness than sweat. Not always, but often enough where a towel is handy to wrap around the neck. Doing daily exercise of leg pedaling and arm stretches (simultaneously while seated) also results in slight perspiration; but more in the neck area than forehead or underarm.

(2) Burnt Tongue Syndrome: Had never heard of such a creature, but as the name implies, the tongue winds up with a burning sensation; like from sipping coffee that was too hot. Google has an explanation but no remedy. It can come and go, but unfortunately has no time restriction. As far as CR2S is concerned, it popped up several months ago and has unfortunately decided to stick around.

There is this constant state of discomfort in the inner mouth wall and roof. I get up thrice nightly because of nature and BTS. I try to alleviate the latter nuisance by gargling before returning to bed. Same lousy routine every two hours. Sometimes there is a tinge of red in saliva, which orthodontist can’t explain either. The condition impacts appetite, which in my case is already bad. Lots of liquid and ice cream as a result. Sometimes I breathe through the mouth for relief. It’s pretty miserable condition.

= * =

Wowzus! Can you imagine “Oh-bah-keh-sama” playing second fiddle to sweat and a tongue? Well, it sure as shootin’ is happening, isn’t it? A case of hurt over haughty, one might say.

So what happens? This very morning (Monday) there is a loud single “knock” on my door; the first in over a month! It wasn’t a complete shutout though, since there were three single ring telephone interruptions during a less than lion-like March. But the long absence of door-knocking had me worried.

On the other hand, “O” appears to be spreading her personality. Resident Rose, now a second-floor neighbor, reported another visitation; which now stands at four, I believe. For the first time a fourth-floor tenant reported a visitation. Another main-floor tenant hesitantly mentioned a similar experience. [On cue, there was an extra loud rap on my door again this morning (Tuesday)! Two in a row after an absence of over a month. Think maybe she’s trying to tell me something? Also can’t help but think something looms on the horizon.]

= * =

Something more concrete is on KRH’s near horizon: The sale of Keiro Senior HealthCare. Scuttlebutt has it an official pronouncement will be made soon. Everyone concerned is on edge wondering what’s going to happen and the community at large still has questions.

CR2S plans to remain unfazed during the changeover. Which prompts two more questions: Who cares and what do I know?

W.T. Wimpy Hiroto can be reached at williamhiroto@att.net Opinions expressed in this column are not necessarily those of The Rafu Shimpo.

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