(Published in The Rafu Shimpo on June 6, 2012.)
A “noob” is someone who is bad at something because they are new to it; a “nub” lacks skill in spite of having plenty of experience. Examples: He is a noob when it comes to showing true humility; on the other hand, I am a nub when attempting to be sincerely humble. Your *WOW (*word of week) is surcease, meaning release, respite, discontinuance; like in “Give us a break, Sir, surcease!”
= * =
Let’s talk. Again. But for a change of pace, this time I promise to listen, for once, even though a noob who has difficulty allowing someone to finish a sentence. So how about a few communiqués from my “Save for Future Reference” file . . .
• Your “over is better than 6 ft. under” is a column that my wife asked me to share with our kids. Thanks for your many columns on the eldercare topic. – H.K.
[Sir: Modesty is called for but am getting kind of hearing impaired lately. Nonetheless is heartening to hear that so many readers, elderly and their offspring, are at least in discussion on the very important question of “what do we do when?”]
• I, for one, am tired of your tired remarks about Kobe Bryant, Tiger Woods, and yes, even OJ Simpson. Where does it say Crossroads to Nowhere has the right to disrespect three of the greatest athletes of all time? And all three are black? – J.K.
[Sir: I have every right because CR2S (and it’s Crossroads to Somewhere, not Nowhere, but touche) has personal space reserved every Wednesday Rafu to fill as I see fit. Your note was salvaged from my File 13 (use when really hard up for space) so I could once again state my dislike for KB and TW. It’s like I don’t care for liver, except my own. And maybe it’s black, too.]
• “As a long-time reader & admirer, going back to your $4-a-year newspaper subscription, I thought it was time to tell you how you have continued to improve and grow over the years … and a youthful crew cut picture headed the column. I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting you although I have heard you speak. (Keep writing. Just kidding. My wife thinks you are pretty good.) … maybe a more current picture would be appropriate? … – G.Y.
[Sir: Where to begin? I find it embarrassing and“hazukashii” to print nothing but complimentary messages, although (ahem), almost all are. Vanity, thy art tasteless, but I love salt and pepper! To hear from followers like you who have read this stuff for so long deserve some sort of reward. Maybe eventually a smiley-face updated photo.]
• … and I’ve found your medical adventures of great interest as well as informative. Why have you not kept us updated on your adventures with doctors and hospitals … or are you in good health all of a sudden?” – Y.M.
[Ma’am: Lately, I only hurt when I breathe. But you know, if there is anything unanimous these days, it’s aches and pains, and I reckon most have their own daily bouts with Medicare and doctor appointments and don’t need to hear the complaints of others. But I did consider devoting a column on a recent medical appointment I had last month. Remind me to give you a blow-by-blow down the road a piece.]
• “. . . (and) how old ARE you?” – G.I.
[Ma’am: How old are you? (Naw, just trying to be cute.) If truth be told, I used to readily answer the age inquiry without pause, being rather proud of however old I was at the time. Later it was an accomplishment reaching a certain age while retaining most of my marbles and hair. Now a “how old are you” question prompts a gruff “old enuf’” response; or “how old do you think I am?” rejoinder. Nothing like trying to be clever when at a loss for words. I really don’t know, lady, maybe the hesitance comes from fear of reaching the stage of indifference. You know, where family/friends used to listen intently (and courteously) to your every pronouncement; nowadays rapt attention is replaced by a sigh, rolling of eyes, or heavens to Betsy, both. I mean, hey, there are people younger than I who I don’t listen to! So, yeah, nowadays I reply to the age question with fear and trepidation. But as the old saw goes, time counts only when you’re in prison.]
W.T. Wimpy Hiroto can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org Opinions expressed in this column are not necessarily those of The Rafu Shimpo.