By Judd Matsunaga, Esq.
This article is the last of a four-part series from a Special Health Report from Harvard Medical School titled: “Self-Care: A Step-by-Step Wellness Plan for Body, Mind, and Spirit Balancing.”
All three are essential for achieving good health. In Parts 2 and 3, we discussed the body and the mind. This fourth article will cover “The Spirit: Energy, Social connection, and Purpose.”
(1) Energy — Whatever your profession or your stage of life, energy is a boon. With it, you feel ready to take on the world. Without it, you may have trouble just getting through the day. But what is energy, exactly? On one level, it’s the physical fuel generated by tiny powerhouses in your cells called mitochondria. This fuel enables your muscles to move, your heart to beat, and your brain to think.
There is still much that scientists don’t fully understand about energy. While many questions remain unanswered, experience suggests that energy levels can be influenced by various factors. Regular exercise is one of these factors, as it can help boost overall energy. Additionally, managing stress effectively can provide a significant energy lift, as can addressing underlying medical conditions such as depression or sleep apnea, which may be draining your energy.
Rather than accepting fatigue as inevitable, see if some of these proven methods for boosting your energy will work for you. In addition to getting you through the day, you will find that enhanced energy makes you healthier, by giving you the pep to tackle other self-care goals like getting more exercise and preparing nutritious meals.
You derive energy from a number of sources. Some — like sleep, exercise, and food — are universal energy boosters:
- Take a morning (or evening) walk. Walking is the easiest way to get in the recommended 30 minutes of aerobic exercise you need each day.
- Eat a few small snacks during the day to keep your blood sugar level stable and your brain fueled up. Hydrate. Consume five to eight cups of liquid (ideally, water) throughout the day to replenish fluids you have lost.
- Prioritize sleep. Set the same bedtime and wake time each day, and stick to them. If you are still watching TV when bedtime arrives, pause and save the rest of the show for the next day. If you are still working, put your laptop and smart phone away until morning.
Things that bring you pleasure generally give you energy. Think about what you enjoy doing and what fuels you. Then use that activity as a way to improve your energy levels, such as talking to a friend or loved one, laughing, taking part in a hobby or activity you enjoy, and listening to your favorite song. Add more positive, high-energy people to your circle of friends.
At the opposite end of the spectrum are the energy drainers. Spend less time with anyone who exudes negativity and drains you of energy, i.e., energy vampires. While you may not be able to rid yourself of all the energy vampires in your life, you can set clear boundaries around them.
(2) Social Connection — Just as you nourish your body with food, you nourish your soul with social interactions. Creating high-quality social connections may take some effort, but it comes with big rewards. Volumes of research have highlighted the health benefits of strong social relationships, including: (1) better immune function; (2) lower levels of anxiety and depression; and (3) greater longevity.
A 2021 study from Yale University found that people who are socially isolated are at increased risk for health conditions such as high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, anxiety, depression, and premature death. Research suggests that a lack of social connection might be even more detrimental to your health than obesity, high blood pressure, or smoking.
As children, it’s easy to make friends. You’re surrounded by other children at school, playgroups, and extracurricular activities and can bond quickly. As an adult, you still have many opportunities to bond through work, community, or other activities — although day-to-day responsibilities can make it difficult to find the time to see your friends as much as you would like to.
In your senior years, however, the opportunities for fostering relationships through your everyday activities narrow. Friends move away. Loved ones begin to die. Your children are grown and busy with their own lives. Although you finally have the time for friendships, you no longer see a circle of contacts every day at work or meet other parents through your children’s activities.
To help widen your social circle and enhance your feeling of connection with others, the following suggestions came from the Harvard Special Report on Self-Care:
- Meet up with a friend and have a long conversation. Catch up on everything that has been going on in your lives. If you can’t meet in person, connect over Zoom, FaceTime, or another video conferencing app.
- Smile at someone at least once a day. This small gesture is a powerful way to show interest, engagement, and kindness.
- Do something nice for a friend or a stranger. Take a work friend out for lunch. Buy coffee for a stranger, or compliment someone on a sweater, scarf, or another item of apparel.
- Be a participant. Instead of sitting on the sidelines, get involved in various activities. Take an art class. Work or volunteer at an animal shelter or senior center. All of these offer you an opportunity to meet new people.
- Ask “How are you today?”— and really listen to the answer! This not only shows that you care, but it opens the door to a much deeper and more meaningful conversation.
- Be outgoing. If you’re introverted, it can be hard to put yourself “out there,” but engaging with others is key to meeting new people. Though it might feel uncomfortable at first, push yourself to make small talk.
- Find something in common. This is one way to overcome your nervousness at engaging someone you do not know. Ask where the person grew up, where they went to college, where they work, and what they do for fun.
- Show appreciation. Finding connections is relatively easy to do. Holding on to them is more of a challenge. Let people know how much you value them.
Dr. Jane Dutton, psychology professor at the University of Michigan, says to start with recognizing and appreciating the people who are right in front of you, e.g., the partner who is by your side, your children, parents, and closest friends. Nurture your relationships; it is incumbent on you to give back in exchange. Try to listen at least as much as you speak. Be empathetic and ask them questions to show that you care.
Up until now, this four-part article has been focusing on self-care, i.e., putting on your own oxygen mask before helping those around you. We discussed how (1) the body (i.e., nutrition, physical activity and sleep); (2) the mind (i.e., attitude, resilience and time-out); and (3) the spirit (i.e., energy, social connections) are all essential to good health.
But ultimately, helping those around you is also part of your self-care because it helps give your life meaning and purpose. Through the ages, philosophers and religious leaders have argued that lasting happiness requires that you focus on concerns outside of yourself.
“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
(3) Purpose — Life without purpose is like a road trip without a map. You wander aimlessly, reacting to what comes along rather than heading with clarity toward a destination. It is a goal that makes life more meaningful, connects you with those around you, makes the best use of your strengths and interests, and allows you to leave a mark, however large or small, on the world before you leave it.
Of course, your purpose in life is unique to you. For some people, purpose lies in religious belief. For others, it’s the future of their children, or a positive contribution to their community, the larger world, art, literature, or the health and well-being of others. But one thing is universal. To feel that your life is well lived, you need to look beyond your own immediate pleasures and comforts.
Research suggests that it may have a direct effect on the brain. For example, it increases resilience and the ability to cope with stress, depression, and chronic pain. In a 2020 Harvard study, Dr. Eric Kim and colleagues found that people with the greatest sense of purpose were also more likely to be physically active, sleep well, maintain a healthy weight, and not smoke or drink alcohol to excess.
One way in which some people find their purpose is by giving back — volunteering to feed the homeless, care for shelter dogs, clean trash off the beaches, or read to children, for example. As Mahatma Gandhi, leader of India’s independence movement, once said, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” Not only does giving back have the obvious benefit of helping others, but it is also good for your own mental and physical health.
The health benefits of volunteering are especially significant in adults older than 50. Research finds that older adults who give back are less likely to develop high blood pressure than those who don’t. They are also less prone to anxiety, stress, and depression, possibly because of the rush of the “reward hormone,” dopamine, that is released in the brain when
you do something good.
In conclusion, try these following seven tips to help you find your purpose:
- Zero in on your strengths. Think about how you could apply your strengths in a way that would give meaning to your life and the lives of those around you.
- Think about the obstacles you have overcome in your life. Can you find ways to help others who are going through the same thing?
- Look for role models. Are there people whose work you admire? Can you learn how to do the same kind of thing?
- Do you have knowledge or a skill you can impart? If so, become a mentor.
- Think about what the world needs. When you’ve singled out a cause that’s meaningful to you, think about how you could help.
- Recall the best stories from your childhood and write them down with as much detail as you can. Answer the kind of questions you wish you had asked your own parents and grandparents before it was too late. Give them to your children and grandchildren.
- Write your own obituary. You can do it just for yourself or your family. The important thing is to think about your accomplishments. What are you proudest of? What do you want to be remembered for? Can any of that inform your purpose now?
Judd Matsunaga, Esq., is the founding partner of the Law Offices of Matsunaga & Associates, specializing in estate/Medi-Cal planning, probate, personal injury and real estate law. With offices in Torrance, Hollywood, Sherman Oaks, Pasadena and Fountain Valley, he can be reached at (800) 411-0546. Opinions expressed in this column are not necessarily those of The Rafu Shimpo.