By JUDD MATSUNAGA, ESQ.
The phrase “life is tough and then you die” is a pessimistic and cynical expression of life’s hardships, suggesting that struggles are inevitable and that death is the final, unavoidable conclusion. The phrase suggests that life is an inherently difficult experience with no ultimate positive outcome beyond death. It can be a blunt acknowledgment of the suffering and hardship people endure.
Hopefully, most Rafu Shimpo readers have a much more positive, philosophical interpretation, suggesting the quote encourages accepting the toughness of life and moving forward, focusing on the response to hardship rather than the hardship itself. For example, the ancient Japanese proverb “Fall seven times, stand up eight.” The Chinese also have a similar proverb, “The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.”
In our lifetime, here are a few quotes on life being tough, life being a struggle, from some famous people you should know:
“Tough times never last, but tough people do.” — Robert H. Schuller
“Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.” ― Oprah Winfrey
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” — Winston Churchill
“It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up.” — Vince Lombardi
“But I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough can you see the stars.” ― Martin Luther King, Jr.
Actor and former governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger said, “Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”
But here’s my favorite quote from actor Woody Allen: “Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.” The quote suggests that while life is inherently challenging, a lack of thought, reflection, and learning can make those challenges much more difficult to overcome.
Now “stupid” might be a little harsh, but years ago, a Japanese American man told me something that knocked me off my feet. He was living with his Nisei mom, and I was visiting them to help Mom qualify for Medi-Cal benefits. He said to me, “If there is a God, he hasn’t been very good to us. So, we don’t believe in Him.” After I picked myself off the floor, I thought to myself, “What a shame, you’re only making things harder on yourself.”
Remember the Ferris wheel (the giant vertical revolving wheel) at the amusement park? Metaphorically, we’re all on it, spending some time at the top, but also some time on the bottom. I once heard someone say, “You’re either currently in tough times, about to go into tough times, or just coming out of tough times – at all times.”
But we get in trouble, i.e., life is “harder,” when we’re at the bottom (i.e., struggling), and we look up at all the people at the top of the wheel, i.e., smiling and laughing, and we somehow feel “left out.”
Life can be exhausting. Your Ferris wheel might feel stuck at the bottom. You might be running on “empty.” Your personal battery might be down to a mere trickle of energy, and hope is just about gone. But, there is good news. There is a way to recharge your inner battery. If you drive a Tesla, you know what I’m talking about. Your car won’t run unless you plug it in every day to recharge.
The key to recharge your personal battery is built right into the Thanksgiving holiday — giving thanks. About 2,500 years ago, the psalmist wrote, “O give thanks unto the LORD, for He is good: for His mercy endureth forever.” (Psalms 107:1)
About 160 years ago (1863), President Abraham Lincoln proclaimed that Thanksgiving would be celebrated on the last Thursday of November and Congress made Thanksgiving a permanent holiday in 1941. Still, we had no science to back up the health benefits of gratitude.
First, what is gratitude? Gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible. With gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives. In the process, people usually recognize that the source of that goodness lies at least partially outside themselves. As a result, being grateful also helps people connect to something larger than themselves as individuals — whether to other people, nature, or a higher power.
Second, why do we do it? The psalmist wrote, “Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.” (Psalms 100:4) It signifies a way to enter into God’s presence with a thankful heart, giving thanks and blessing His name as a way to worship and draw near to Him. It is an invitation to approach God with a spirit of gratitude. Thankfulness is presented as the “key” or “password” to entering God’s presence in a more intentional way.
Today, research has scientifically found that expressing gratitude can actually lift the spirits. In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships. (Source: Harvard Health Publishing, “Giving Thanks Can Make You Happier,” Aug. 14, 2021)
Gratitude activates the brain’s reward system. Specifically, the ventral tegmental area (VTA) and the nucleus accumbens, both regions associated with pleasure, motivation, and reward. When you express or experience gratitude, your brain releases dopamine, often referred to as the “feel-good” chemical. Dopamine enhances feelings of pleasure and encourages the brain to repeat behaviors that lead to these rewarding experiences.
This reward mechanism creates a positive feedback loop: the more we practice gratitude, the more dopamine is released, reinforcing the behavior and making it easier to experience positive emotions. Over time, practicing gratitude will strengthen the positive neural pathways associated with positive thinking and emotional regulation.
The release of dopamine makes the brain want to repeat the experience, making it more likely you’ll feel and act gratefully in the future and gratitude becomes a habit, naturally enhancing our overall sense of well-being. This gratitude can become a habit, naturally booting our overall well-being.
In addition to dopamine, gratitude can also increase serotonin and oxytocin, contributing to improved mood, reduced stress, reduced depression and anxiety, and stronger social bonds.
Serotonin is a hormone and neurotransmitter that helps regulate your mood as well as your sleep, appetite, digestion, learning ability, and memory. Oxytocin, often called the “love hormone,” helps promote trust, empathy, and bonding in relationships. Levels generally increase with physical affection.
So, how do we practice gratitude? I was going to provide some helpful words on gratitude from America’s pastor, Billy Graham. After all, the Pilgrims were giving thanks to God. Today, however, the object (focus) of thanks has evolved from a specifically religious gratitude towards the God of the Bible to a broader, more general appreciation for the positive aspects of life and community.
This Thanksgiving, since expressing gratitude has significant health benefits regardless of your religion (or lack thereof), I’d thought I’d share some words on gratitude from a Buddhist monk, Shi Heng Yi. The following is taken from a popular TED Talk on ancient Shaolin philosophy: (Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9lkuP-O16E)
There will be mornings when life doesn’t feel easy — when the body is weary, responsibilities feel overwhelming, and the future seems uncertain. In those moments, gratitude may feel distant, and you might not feel thankful at all. In those moments, gratitude becomes a choice, not a feeling. Gratitude doesn’t change your circumstances instantly, but it changes your thoughts. And that changes how you experience everything that follows.
Begin your morning with gratitude. Each morning, take a few moments before you move. Sit in silence. Feel your breath without rushing. Shift your focus from what’s missing to what’s present. Instead of starting your day chasing after what you lack, you begin with appreciation for what you already have. Instead of reaching for your phone, reach for awareness.
Let your first words be a gentle whisper to yourself, “I am grateful for another day.” When you say “I am grateful for another day,” you are reminding yourself that life is not finished with you yet. You have been given another sunrise, another opportunity to do better, to forgive, to move forward.
Gratitude is not just about being thankful for good things. It is about recognizing that life itself is the good thing. Every breath you take is a silent gift that most people forget to unwrap. The simple act of waking up, feeling the rhythm of your own heartbeat, the warmth of your surroundings, the breath that moves through you, is a miracle disguised as routine. You start realizing that life’s richness often hides in simplicity. The bed that held your rest. The air that fills your lungs. The more you notice, the richer you become.
Each morning is proof that the universe still believes in your potential. What more powerful reason could there be to begin the day with humility and strength? Gratitude also softens the heart. It takes you out of the narrow tunnel of self-centered thinking. You start noticing small details. The sound of birds, the warmth of sunlight, the taste of water. You begin to live in presence rather than in absence.
Gratitude multiplies what you appreciate because the more you focus on something, the more it grows in your awareness. Many people believe they will be grateful after they achieve something, after they succeed, after they earn more, after life becomes easier. But the truth is reversed. Life becomes easier after you become grateful. Gratitude changes the energy you bring to everything you do. When you work with a grateful mind, your actions carry peace.
There is also a spiritual wisdom hidden in gratitude. It teaches you humility, the understanding that you are part of something greater. You didn’t create the sunrise. You didn’t control the rhythm of your breath through the night. You didn’t earn this new day. It was given. Recognizing this fills you with reverence. It makes you aware that life is not something to be conquered, but something to be honored. And when you honor life, life begins to open in unexpected ways.
Gratitude becomes a quiet discipline, a shield against chaos, a guide toward peace. And when you finally close your eyes at night, you’ll do so with peace, knowing that you lived this day fully because you began it with the right thought. The recognition that life has once again given you something priceless.
Another chance awaits with every new dawn, reminding you that no matter what happened before, as long as you wake up breathing, you are still being trusted with time — the most valuable gift of all. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!
Judd Matsunaga, Esq., is the founding partner of the Law Of-fices of Matsunaga & Associates, specializing in estate/Medi-Cal planning, probate, personal injury and real estate law. With offices in Torrance, Hollywood, Sherman Oaks, Pasadena and Fountain Valley, he can be reached at (800) 411-0546. Opinions expressed in this column are not necessarily those of The Rafu Shimpo.